Shiva Rea's Yoga Trance Dance - Part Two (Water)

"The energy that holds up the mountains is the energy I bow down to." - Sufi Master

As we walked in the same chapel I had taken the gentle yoga class in earlier, the atmosphere was completely transformed.  Dimly lit with flickering candles, a small altar cloth with a black, four headed Shiva Lingam (that looked identical to the ones I had seen in temples in Rishikesh) had been placed in the center of the room.  She was already sitting in front of it and as we gathered around her in a circle, I was thrilled to end up sitting just a couple of feet from her.  She passed around shaker eggs and had us sway our bodies as we got into a rhythm with the eggs.  The sounds of the "sshh...ssshhh...ssshhh" motion, the tribal music playing and her soothing voice filled the room with an intoxicating combination.  Soon, eyes were closed, bodies were swaying and everything just kind of melted away. 

Shiva spoke of being an infant, how as a child we are born to dance, born to move, born to tap into this primordial creative energy (Shakti).  Then she had us put our shakers up to our ears, they sounded crisp and loud that closely. Then she instructed us to change rhythms with the eggs, but even as we did, she noted that we were still all in sync, the chaos was still order.  This is a principle of Hindu philosophy that I have been teaching for over a decade in my Eastern class, but I loved this tangible way of explanation and noted to start utilizing this way of showing it in my classes.

Soon we were up off the floor, but still moving slowly, with the heavy, intense tribal drumming seeming louder and louder.  She instructed us to begin moving around the space, around each other, focusing just on our arms, our hips, our legs, letting different body parts emphasize the rhythm and movement.  Then, she had us do this interesting "bow and arrow" type movement that reminded me of the infamous Hulk Hogan pose in the 80s where he'd stretch one arm out and bend the other elbow to bring his hand to his ear.  This memory, of course, made me love this particular movement. Like most Trance Dance or Kundalini moves, she instructed to bring our arms back and out quickly, with more vigor.  Then, we did the pulled the energy out and down, quickly with a series of syncronized arm pulls...hard to describe, but extremely invigorating and exhilerating. The music got more intense and everyone just sort of let go.

From here on, everything got a bit blurry in structure.  The academic in me was forced to take a back seat to the experience at hand and I happily pushed my note taking self aside to make room on the dance floor.   After minutes, seconds, hours...I don't know if anyone was quite sure, we experienced the "collective flow" advertised with the Trance Dance experience. I don't know what any one else felt, but I couldn't believe what I was feeling.  The combined travel exhaustion, exhileration of being here and my pure, passionate love of movement and yoga had united to produce a quite altered mindstate.  I started feeling a tingling sensation throughout my extended arms, my leaping legs, my swaying hips...a natural energy high fueled by every one else's movements in that space, the tribal drums, the rhythmic Indian citar and all the energy work we had done to lead up to this.   Pretty soon we were all leaping around and lost in our own body/mind worlds.  Moving as a part of each other's space, but at the same time, in our own experience while Shiva uttered gems like, "Think of your ancestors moving across continents, dancing in the night." 

Then, completely unexpectedly, I was filled with this shudder.  Now, I have had plenty of great times dancing, feelings of release and ecstastic flow, whether it was in my living room, at clubs or at wedding receptions, I have felt that rush of dancing to amazing rhythms all night.  But, this rush was different.  Stronger.  My eyes didn't just fill with tears, but instantly started overflowing with them and I involuntarily started bawling like a little kid.  Like a dam breaking, something in me just lost it and I was overcome with intense emotion.  I tried to refocus, but no matter what, I couldn't stop crying.  Then, I was hit with another strong sensation of complete release, a feeling not unlike what I experienced when skydiving a few years ago.  Total spiritual surrender.  A feeling of "everything is going to be alright" came over me in a strong crashing ocean wave.

I kept dancing. I kept moving no matter what.  Moved through the waves, through the floodgates, through the surrender.  And then I opened my eyes and saw Shiva's slender, white clad figure moving in this almost Shamanic way right next to me (I know this sounds hippy dippy, but I don't know how else to describe it - her bending, forming, tribal curving, concocting, conjuring series of interwoven movements blended with the tribal drums). We danced in the same space and I had one of those moments you have in life, that moment of simple bliss of knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be in that moment and then she smiled at me and I smiled back. 

The tears still wouldn't stop.  Even when Shiva instructed us to do the Tandava (cross over Nataraj kick) and even when everyone got in a big circle and pulled all the energy back down.  The tears just kept rolling.  She brought us down to the floor in Savasana and in 18 years of doing yoga, never has this pose felt more needed, appropriate or sacred to me than in that experience, in that moment right then.  I sprawled onto the floor in a heap the way my dog often just flops her body down in a pile in the sun as if her legs and arms gave out from under her suddenly. I lay there as the music continued, and couldn't take my eyes off the Nataraj (dancing Shiva) statue on the altar at the front of the chapel.  I had seen it all day, but now it caused a completely different feeling in me.  I was overwhelmed with feelings of empowerment, release, clarity, and ineffable spiritual connection with something pulsing beneath the surface of it all.

It was hard to come back to the surface itself, but slowly, Shiva's voice called us back.  And then she began quietly talking about yogic/dance principles and preparing us for the next day.  I was sort of half paying attention, my mind still sloshy from the ecstatic energy and my eyes still all full of tears, when I heard her say, just like any other word and not in any particularly defining way, "Fuck."  I perked up, then she added in her soft, velvety voice, "you know, sometimes you need to balance out your purity. I have Irish ancestors.  It's okay."  Smiling, this of course, made me love her even more.  A spiritual guru who says Fuck and credits the ancestors?  Couldn't love it more if I tried.   Then she told us to not eat too much so we don't "have a Kripalu fart baby."  Is it weird that even saying this, she still sounded like a wise spiritual sage?  It's true.  She totally did.  I can only dream of saying things like "fuck" and "fart" and still sounding wise and beatific - it's a new goal for me for sure, especially in my profession.

I went to bed ecstatic and unable to fall asleep because of how buzzed up and mojofied I was.  I figured the whole weekend would be full of this feeling of having my finger on the pulse of God and I couldn't wait to ride the wave.  But, of course, I would be naive to think that kind of experience would be so easy to hold on to.  Ecstasy doesn't ride alone.  Too many other emotions get brought up in that spiritual scoop.

To be continued...

Shiva Rea's Yoga Trance Dance - Part One (Earth)

"All the world's problems can be solved by dance." - James Brown

Talk about a transformative experience!  I've been doing Shiva Rea's DVDs for a couple of years now, first with her Shakti one, then Radiant Heart, then Flow, then Lunar, then Daily Energy, and then...well, a bunch more.  I came across a title, "Yoga Trance Dance."  Now this sounds interesting, I thought.  I ordered it, at first feeling a little silly dancing across my living room to a DVD of a group of dancing SoCal free spirits, but soon, the music and dance and Shiva herself just get you and you don't give a shit.  Like Shiva says in the video, her head moving with the rhythm and her beatific smile across her face, "Those who dance are seen to be crazy by those who do not hear the drums." 

I knew I had to experience this mixture of yoga and dance movement first hand and luckily, Shiva Rea offers a teacher training in this very style.  So, last weekend, I drove the 15 hours through traffic, construction and rainstorms to Kripalu, near Lenox, Massachusettes.  I arrived weary and exhausted in the middle of a downpour not unlike the first monsoon ten years ago when I arrived to the Integral Yoga Ashram in Virginia for my teacher training.  This time, luckily, I did not have to put up a tent in the rain, but I did have to traverse uphill winding mountain roads that were gushing with flood waters.  About 20 anxiety ridden minutes later and several turn arounds, I finally found Kripalu (my one suggestion to them - a bigger sign!).

I had expected Kripalu to be somewhat like the Ashram in Virginia, but upon walking in, I realized quickly this was a much larger operation.  Greeters, secretaries and yogis running about, pamphlets, sign ins, and  SO many people.  Crowds and crowds of people, many more than I expected.  I signed in, unpacked my car and settled into my tiny little room that reminded me of a monk's quarters (fitting since I found out later that Kripalu used to be a Jesuit monastary).

There was just enough time to attend one of Kripalu's many daily yoga classes before dinner.  I slipped into the Gentle Yoga class, feeling too exhausted after the travel for anything more demanding.  It was a great choice, housed in an enormous room with tall cathedral ceilings.  In fact, this used to be the Jesuit chapel.  Now it had stained glass "OM's" on the doors and the dancing Nataraj Shiva at the altar where Christ used to be, which as a Religion teacher, made me smile a bit.  There must have been over fifty people in this class and I barely had enough room to roll my mat out at the back.  Aside from Bikram yoga, it was the largest class I had ever attended.  Soon, my body released into the restorative poses and I noted the loose movement and instructional emphasis Kripalu classes had.  After many slow leg stretches, side stretches and child's poses, we ended with a surprisingly nice movement of planting our feet and hopping up and down as a cleansing.  I could feel all the stress, anxiety and exhaustion from travel just melting away through my feet and was so thankful that I arrived early enough for this transition to the weekend training. 

Expecting the usual Ashram vegetarian fare of tofu and rice, I was blown away by Kripalu's food offerings.  I walked in to a huge hall that had two buffets spread out.  Everything is grown organically and locally and so I piled my plate with salads, tomatoes, curry drizzled salmon, fruits and drank this organic, hormone free milk from Jersey that was indeed the best milk I have ever tasted in my life.  So good, I wanted to give a little Jersey fist pump right there for its splendid existence.

And now, transitioned and fed, it was time to do what we came here for.  Around 7:30, those of us in the training program gathered around the "OM" doors to wait for our first session.  The excitement and buzz was tangible. Several girls were covering themselves in glitter.  Oh boy...I wondered how many were going to be ga ga for Shiva Rea (she has quite the fan base and some fans are fantatic for her in a Guru/Grateful Dead sort of way).  I tried to stay detached and calm, but I had to admit after using her DVDs for so long, I was a little giddy to meet her too.  However, after my Rodney Yee experience, I tried not to get my expectations up too high.  It's far too easy for your idols to fall.

Then, I felt this pull to my left.  My eyes looked in that direction and coming towards me was a tall woman dressed in all white with a white, embroidered sash around her waist.  Her blonde, platinum hair was cut in bangs - very surfer girl - and she was pointing and talking with one of her assistants.  She turned and looked right into my eyes and I think she must have seen my bag (a local artist's creation - "Om land Security") because she looked down, then looked back at me and smiled, patting her heart with her left hand.  I wasn't sure what that meant or if it was even me she was looking at for sure, but damned if my neutrality went right out the window.  In that one moment, I immediately felt myself beam and become all googly eyed.  I was "Shiva-fied."  I immediately realized she was someone whose simple presence in a room makes heads turn and I couldn't wait to see what she had in store for us tonight. I had a feeling it would be intense, whatever it was and I was right.

To be continued...

Yoga at 40,000 feet

Arno River, Florence, Italy

It's been a tough quarter, writing and any other creative indulgences have taken a backburner to all the other projects, committments and classes.  But yoga doesn't hold grudges and Buddha teaches nonattachment, so here we go. 

There is too much to write about regarding the experince of Italy- the kindness of the Italians, the beauty of the art and architecture, the decadence of the culinary delights, the nuns (still wearing habits), hearing Italian Rolling Stones cover bands, watching light filter through the clouds over the Arno river while the orange and red blended harmoniously into shades of burgundy and blue, the powerful church bells ringing in the evening...the Catholic Church's "OM."

There's too much to begin to capture...that hasn't already been captured...about Italy.  So instead, I'll just focus on one moment.  On the long plane ride home, I was stretching in the back, doing a few adapted poses in the cramped space while waiting for the tiny airplane bathroom to open up.  One of the flight attendants, a very tall man who I instantly figured as one of Kathy Griffin's gays, rolled his beverage cart back behind me.  His face lit up and he smiled a huge grin, "Hey, I'll do yoga with you!"  And the next thing I knew, we were standing together in tree pose, nearly 40,000 feet in the air, mirroring each other in balance, our hands in namaste.  Taken out of our roles, his as distributor of packaged pretzels, carefully poured beverages and tiny, compact dinners (how do they get them so tiny?), and mine as a needy, exhausted passenger, we were now nothing but two yogis, balancing together, smiling at each other, with a backdrop of billowing clouds passing through the small window through the triangle of his left leg. 

"Yoga has changed my life," he said to me.  I nodded.  There were so many ways I could say, "Indeed my friend" - experiences I could give, stories I could tell, but I nodded with a smile to convey all of it, and kept balancing without saying a word.   The definition of yoga is "union" or "to yoke" - a system to connect our minds and bodies, or on a more spiritual level, our spirit to God (Atman to Brahman in Hindu Sanskrit).  Here, it connected an Air France attendant and myself, grounded by our tree in the clouds, each of us mirroring not only a pose, but our convinction and connection. 

Arrividerci!

After much saving, planning and research, I am excited to say that my cousin and I will be leaving on a plane for Italy this week!  I am beyond excited and can't wait to take my journal and camera and just be a sponge, soaking in and marveling the sights, smells, sounds and tastes around me.  

In addition to my journal and camera, I'll need to pack a few other things, which led me to one of my first thoughts while packing, "Will I do yoga in Italy?"  I immediately thought to Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, who while an avid yoga, said the whole time she was in Rome (four months), she never even rolled out her mat.  She said Rome and yoga just didn't go together.   In reading her experiences of pure pleasure and guilt-free gluttony, I could see her point.  Maybe they just didn't mix.

I'm packing very light, just one carry-on, so I debated quite a bit over whether or not to pack a travel mat for doing yoga.  I had to ask myself, would I really do yoga every day like I do here when I'm traveling all over Italy, tired and worn out?  At first, I thought no, it's a vacation, leave the mat at home, you'll get enough exercise with walking.

But, then, yoga isn't just exercise.  It's my center, my grounding.  And I've come to look forward to my practice each day, I've worked hard to maintain this consistent practice over the last couple of years, no matter what.  Perhaps I shouldn't stop just because I'm in another country and on a "vacation."

Will I do yoga on a hotel room floor in Florence, on a balcony in Rome, outside the monastery of Assisi?  The last one may be a stretch and get me some weird looks from the Franciscan monks, but the other two I can picture. Though it's something extra to carry, I think the mat is worth packing, even if it's just 5-10 minutes a day to stretch, center and unwind after jetlag, travel, walking miles and miles every day, the general exhaustion of travel and let's face it - all that divine pasta!

So, the decision is made.  My new trusty travel mat is in my backpack along with my other necessities and I'm ready to experience Italy in all its glory and nature.  Taking yoga out of the norm and into different settings while traveling has always been an interesting endeavor in opening up my perspective (and has resulted in some of my favorite yoga experiences I've ever had), so I hope this will be no exception and that I will be able to bring back some good Italian yoga stories to share in two weeks.   Until then, ciao!

A Day Away

A Day Away, Jaco Beach, Costa Rica

Maya Angelou wrote that we all need A Day Away, especially women, since we so often put others' needs before our own.  The Jewish tradition celebrates shabbis, one day of the week that is a temple in time, a time when everything outside is let go and your attention is brought to the center of your life, or the holy "f" trinity - family, friends and FOOD! :)   From sunset Friday to sunset Saturday, you focus your attention away from outside distractions and celebrate a family dinner, say prayers, sing songs, and give thanks to God.   Orthodox Jews take the rules of shabbis very strictly and won't cook, turn on lights or drive on this day, truly following the "no labor" laws.

Most of us don't have the need or determination to take it as old school as the Orthodox, but there's something about this day away that is a great idea for everyone, no matter what belief or religious affiliation.  But, for some reason, most of us have a hard time with this, even though it is a commandment in the biblical tradition.  We are "too busy" and have too many committments.  We have to work on Sundays, keep engagements, catch up with things that we didn't have time to during the week, etc.

Several years ago, during graduate school, I decided to make Saturdays my "free day."  For this one day, from morning until night, I turned off the phone, put away my school books and work responsibilities and didn't check my email at all.  I did things I wanted to do, like yoga, going out to eat, taking a hike or walk, watching a good movie, etc. Basically, I allowed myself to get "out of my head" and into the world, which is an easy thing to forget about when you're in grad school.  I've kept this tradition for the most part ever since.

Each weekend, I try to allow at least a few hours of "alone" time, either on a Saturday or Sunday, in which I do a longer session of yoga (45 minutes to an hour) than I usually have time for during the week.  I put on some chill music, like Stan Getz or Stacey Kent, read a magazine or book, watch a great film that only I have been wanting to see, take a nap, etc.  I don't answer the phone (and put it on mute).  I don't check facebook or email.  I don't grade or do schoolwork, though several years later, I still fight the guilt not to "get a head start" on things for the week or "catch up" on things.   Instead, I tell myself, "those things will get done during the work week.  Right now is quiet time."   An entire day is ideal.  But even if it's only for a couple of hours, take this day away.

Let go of the guilt.  Because the fact is, without some alone time, some quiet time to ourselves each week to recharge our batteries, we will end up overworked, stressed out and resentful, and not giving 100% of what we could if we were rested and recharged.  Think of it as quality vs quantity.

And just remember, according to biblical tradition, even the divine herself took a day to rest after her busy week!

Here is an excerpt of Maya Angelou's "A Day Away" to meditate on this week.  Picture Maya's beautiful face and deep voice telling you, "Child, take a break already."  How can you say no to Maya? :)

"On the eve of my day of absence, I begin to unwrap the bonds which hold me in harness. I inform housemates, my family and close friends that I will not be reachable for twenty-four hours; then I disengage the telephone. I turn the radio dial to an all-music station, preferably one which plays the soothing golden oldies. I sit for at least an hour in a very hot tub; then I lay out my clothes in preparation for my morning escape, and knowing that nothing will disturb me, I sleep the sleep of the just.

On the morning I wake naturally, for I will have set no clock, nor informed my body timepiece when it should alarm. I dress in comfortable shoes and casual clothes and leave my house going no place. If I am living in a city, I wander streets, window-shop, or gaze at buildings. I enter and leave public parks, libraries, the lobbies of skyscrapers, and movie houses. I stay in no place for very long.

On the getaway day I try for amnesia. I do not want to know my name, where I live, or how many dire responsibilities rest on my shoulders. I detest encountering even the closest friend, for then I am reminded of who I am, and the circumstances of my life, which I want to forget for a while.

Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.

Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.

Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. We need hours of aimless wandering or spaces of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops.

If we step away for a time, we are not, as many may think and some will accuse, being irresponsible, but rather we are preparing ourselves to more ably perform our duties and discharge our obligations."

Question for the week:  What is something you do (or not do) during your "day away"?

Stress

This just about sums it up

I get stressed.  I get overwhelmed.  I commit to too many things.  I have a neurotic tendency to not just want, but need to do everything at 150%.   I find myself carrying the weight of others' burdens.  Not because they ask, but because as an emotional inclined person, I find myself affected when loved ones are suffering.

At the same time, I try to be a Yogi every single day.  Even with practicing yoga, I get angry.  I get emotional.  I get aggravated.  And mostly it is due to stress.   How do we manage our stress?  How do we maintain the calmness and tranquility we feel in our practice?  Each day, I try to find anywhere from 20-45 minutes to roll out my mat, breathe, stretch and have a feeling of peace and calmness during my practice.  But, then how do we maintain this and bring it into the world?   How do we remain Stoic ("calm under all circumstances") when life overwhelmes us and gives us a great burden?

This week has got me thinking about this. The past few weeks have been stressful for a number of reasons and this week, serendipitously, I'm teaching about the subjects of Buddhism and Stoicism in different classes, both which advocate a certain amount of detachment to the ebbs and flows of life.

This has always appealed to me - a certain amount of detachment, or the "it won't really matter" philosophy when unpleasant things happen or unexpected stresses come my way.   Yet, as a very emotionally based, intuitive, open, "feel things" kind of person, I find it an interesting balance to achieve.  How do you stay detached and calm without becoming apathetic or numb?  How do you stay connected and empathetic without becoming emotionally spent all the time?

Buddhists say to follow the Eightfold Path.  Yogis say to practice the Eight Limbs.  Christians, Hindus, Muslims all have other advice (which come to think of it, usually involve some number - the 10 commandments, the 5 Pillars, etc.)    This week, I realized that at its most simple foundation, having an authentic connection and conversation with someone is one way to walk this line, a way to reconnect with ourselves in times of stress and feeling like we can't handle any more.    To have an authentic exchange, to share and to have someone say, "I know exactly how you feel" and mean it was enough to let my shoulders down this week.  It was a reminder that I can live through these stresses and burdens, and that I can hopefully learn something and grow through them which will make me a stronger, calmer yogi.

Yoga is not just about stretching, balancing or looking tranquil.  It is about living life, the good and bad, the storms and the calm, encountering the quiet peaceful people and the aggressive hostile ones in our lives, but all the while remaining who we are, remaining authentically grounded.   But we are humans after all, and sometimes it is harder than others.    :)

5 Suggestions for Alleving Stress

1)Make yourself some "me" time.  After you get a certain amount of work and necessary obligations filled, take an hour to spend with yourself, doing what YOU want to do, whether that's taking a bath, watching a film, reading a book, taking a nap or stretching out onto your yoga mat.

2)Get and try to stay organized.  This is preventative medicine and can save a lot of time and hassle in your daily life.  Make lists for things.  Check them off as you do them.  This eliminates anxiety over what needs to be done and if you're forgetting anything and also gives a sense of satisfaction as you check each item off.

3) Turn off your phone for a few hours.  Or at least don't feel like you have to answer every time the phone rings.  You can call them back later.  Do the same with email, facebook, etc.  The world will be okay if you don't check your facebook today.

4)  Learn to say "no."  Say a "healthy no" to committments when you have too much on your plate or need some recharge time.   Let go of the guilt.  The world will be okay if you take a break.

5)  Get frisky with your partner.  Aside from feeling fantastic and being a great way to connect with your other half, it's a stress reliever.  I'm just sayin...

Question:  What is one thing that helps you relieve stress in your life?  What is something that you can suggest to help others who easily get overwhelmed?

Take a breather and lay down in the sun for a few..



Stillness

The ice storm has forced us to be quiet and still.

I am grateful for the solitude.