21 Weeks and Vaginas

One of my favorite things about being pregnant is how so many people are nice to you.  They smile knowingly, open doors and engage you in conversation when normally you'd just pass each other as scowly strangers.  Suddenly, women you didn't know are talking to you about breastfeeding, labor stories and how to deal with colic.  One of the best things about this experience is how it brings strangers into a same, happy, miraculous space - discussing new life.

Now, not everyone is nice.  I am still amazed at the jerks who will let a door slam in my face or cut me off in line, even while seeing I'm obviously pregnant (no hiding it now unless sporting a tight basketball across your midsection seems normal).  Even though I want to kick them in the balls (they've always been men so far, I'm sorry to report) I try to remember Plato's creed, "Be kind to everyone as they are each engaged in their own personal battle."

I recently read the book, Soul Surfer by Bethany Hamilton.  She is the girl who was surfing in Kauai, where she lives with her family, and got attacked by a shark.  The shark took her whole arm off.  She went on to not only surf again, but to win competitions!  I was so moved by how grounded she was in her faith, her family, and her love of the ocean.  She handled the whole trauma with such dignity and adaptation, using the tragedy as a way to reach out and help people. 

She taught herself to surf one-armed (an incredible feat when I know how hard it is to learn to surf with all your able parts).  Her whole family lives by the tides and swells and their lives revolve around the ocean, the salt air and their love of God.  The whole story and book really inspired me.

Even though we don't live near the ocean, this little baby will be a water baby.  Since we live on a lake, she'll be taking swim lessons as soon as she can, learn to ski (oooh - little baby skies!) and spend a lot of time at the beach.  

Speaking of, after two psychics, the old "ring test," a multitude of dreams, and about 20 individuals, including restaurant cooks, faculty, family, and a few random strangers told me for sure this baby would be a boy, imagine my shock at our 20 week ultrasound when we saw she was indeed, a little girl!   I kept saying, "I don't see anything between his legs!'  And the ultrasound tech patiently smiled at me, waiting for me to get what that meant.  It only took a delayed few minutes, but I finally realized what this implied.  I am so psyched!  A daughter!   What a powerful gift.  Women are steel magnolias, soft and hard at the same time like the Grand Canyon.  We are Mary and Kali, creation and destruction, the mysterious and the mundane, we are an ocean of wisdom and whispered secrets.

It is still sinking in, but I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with this little being. It's amazing how primal, visceral and ancient being pregnant feels, yet simultaneously so metaphysical, spiritual and transcendent.  It feels as if I am co-creating a miracle with God, like God has sat down with me and rolled out the blueprints and I've said, "uh huh...yes...that looks great" and then we shook hands.   Experiencing being pregnant is very physical and tangible, but has turned into a very emotional and spiritual journey, not surprisingly.   At 21 weeks, I am over halfway through - it's going by so fast...