And it all culminates in complete and total surrender. Easy enough! Ha!
samadhi-siddhir ishvara pranidhanat - "Though faith and trustful surrender to the divine mystery we find joy."
This is about REALLY letting go of illusions of control, of destructive patterns and/or thinking, selfishness, and shifting our focus and priorities from obsessions and desires to serving others. This is about realizing we are all in this together and we are NOT in control of much at all.
With this final niyama, our daily challenge is to trade our illusion of control for Faith. Capital "F." Complete and total faith. An Ultimate Surrender. Ultimate Belief. I am reading a book currently called Fear and Faith and in it, the author describes fear as unbelief. Wow. This makes me look at my fears and worries in such a different way. One of my favorite parts of the Bible I've read is, "Lord, help my unbelief." Or, Lord, help unload my fears.
This niyama couldn't be more at a more perfect timing. I've had a particularly rough battle with anxiety lately, have been obsessing, frankly, about various fears, which mostly spiral around "'what if's" about my children's health and mine. The invincibility of my youth is fading and now, I worry about a million things I can't control. I sometimes spiral myself into stomach clenching anxiety over these scenarios in my head. This is the opposite of surrender. This is clinging, attachment and feeding my worst turnings of the mind.
We must feed our mind and soul the way we do our bodies. And they must be fed constantly, every day, multiple times a day. This is something I'm realizing - peace is not one and done. It's a constant practice. It takes daily diligence. Do I want to continue to feed my mind worry, worst case scenarios and what if's? Absolutely not. This is a TERRIBLE diet. Or should I feed myself each time with "Yes, I can" and "my girls and I healthy" and "we are safe" and "I have faith" and "God is good!" and "I am strong" and "I will thrive" and various other healthy fillings? Yes, please.
What we practice, we get very good at. What we feed ourselves matters.
I am a perfectionist. And I am very good at worrying. I don't want to be good at this anymore. I'm ready to practice surrender to God. To practice each and every day. I'm ready to practice Ishvara Pranidhana with eyes and heart fixed. I want to learn to be very good at THIS.
What a wonderful and ultimate Niyama to end this series with. Next topic - Joy.
Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden - I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28
You shall increase my greatness and comfort me on every side. - Psalm 71:21
I will comfort you...as a mother comforts her child. - Isaiah 66:13
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Thursday, June 6, 2019
Niyamas: Self-Study (Svadhyaya)
Oh boy...this is my jam! I am a full nerdy academic type, so I love nothing more than having a pen and notebook in my hand, taking notes furiously as I LEARN, LEARN, LEARN something new, or often, some new, delicious perspective on something that gives it (and me) new life and fire.
Svadhyaya is the Yogic path, a sacred path, of self-study and reflection. You don't have to be an academic to pursue this path. This path is all about really stopping to think and reflect on your perspectives and to learn, listen and read as much as you possibly can to inform this, not because you have to, but because you desire to. This practice helps you to really discern information, to practice critical thinking, to examine different perspectives and viewpoints instead of just acting or believing impulsively from a limited perspective or experience. YES!!!
This is not always pleasant, because it requires deep digging. This would be Socrates' favorite Yoga Niyama, I think, because it's all about questioning everything, not taking anything you think you know for granted, but truly knowing it in your heart and soul because you've REALLY reflected on it, wrestled with it, churned it and made it yours. This helps us see more clearly, authentically and with that "engaged detachment" that Buddhists like to talk about.
Of course, we want to be mindful not to get so obsessed with our head's learning that we forget our heart's connection (a constant check for most of us academics, I think). Svadhyaya is not about being Mr. Know-It-All, it's about helping us better investigate what and why we see things the way we do, to understand and appreciate how others do the same and to hone our strengths and be honest about the aspects we need to work on.
Gandhi said it was our "sacred duty" to study all of the world's wisdom scriptures. He read from the New Testament, the Qu'ran and the Bhagavad Gita daily. Lately, I've been in a spirit-led devouring of religious scripture. I just can't get enough. I'm scribbling notes and diving deep, reevaluating a lot of what I've assumed in the past. It's a bit scary. It's weird at times. But it's so, so good. And so joyful.
Everyone in my area is aware of, or has been directly impacted by the multiple tornadoes that hit our area last week. We've all been recovering, either physically or emotionally/spiritually (or both). It is truly miraculous that with all of the destruction, there was such little impact to human life. Most of what is being dealt with now is the material loss and starting over. According to the scriptures I've been reading lately, this is a time for us to be grateful and for us to act. To serve as God's hands and HELP however we can. From the smallest gesture/token to grand ones, we are all in this.
"(Because of this distress)...you're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more referent, more human, more passionate, more responsible...you've come out of this with purity of heart." 2 Cor.7:9-13
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial." James 1:12
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit." Ephesians 3:16
"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Matthew 22:39
Svadhyaya is the Yogic path, a sacred path, of self-study and reflection. You don't have to be an academic to pursue this path. This path is all about really stopping to think and reflect on your perspectives and to learn, listen and read as much as you possibly can to inform this, not because you have to, but because you desire to. This practice helps you to really discern information, to practice critical thinking, to examine different perspectives and viewpoints instead of just acting or believing impulsively from a limited perspective or experience. YES!!!
This is not always pleasant, because it requires deep digging. This would be Socrates' favorite Yoga Niyama, I think, because it's all about questioning everything, not taking anything you think you know for granted, but truly knowing it in your heart and soul because you've REALLY reflected on it, wrestled with it, churned it and made it yours. This helps us see more clearly, authentically and with that "engaged detachment" that Buddhists like to talk about.
Of course, we want to be mindful not to get so obsessed with our head's learning that we forget our heart's connection (a constant check for most of us academics, I think). Svadhyaya is not about being Mr. Know-It-All, it's about helping us better investigate what and why we see things the way we do, to understand and appreciate how others do the same and to hone our strengths and be honest about the aspects we need to work on.
Gandhi said it was our "sacred duty" to study all of the world's wisdom scriptures. He read from the New Testament, the Qu'ran and the Bhagavad Gita daily. Lately, I've been in a spirit-led devouring of religious scripture. I just can't get enough. I'm scribbling notes and diving deep, reevaluating a lot of what I've assumed in the past. It's a bit scary. It's weird at times. But it's so, so good. And so joyful.
Everyone in my area is aware of, or has been directly impacted by the multiple tornadoes that hit our area last week. We've all been recovering, either physically or emotionally/spiritually (or both). It is truly miraculous that with all of the destruction, there was such little impact to human life. Most of what is being dealt with now is the material loss and starting over. According to the scriptures I've been reading lately, this is a time for us to be grateful and for us to act. To serve as God's hands and HELP however we can. From the smallest gesture/token to grand ones, we are all in this.
"(Because of this distress)...you're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more referent, more human, more passionate, more responsible...you've come out of this with purity of heart." 2 Cor.7:9-13
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial." James 1:12
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit." Ephesians 3:16
"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Matthew 22:39
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Niyamas: Self-Discipline (Tapas)
Our next Niyama is Tapas or Self-Discipline. So, this is basically...the hard part. We often have great intentions, great ideas (think - New Year's Resolutions), but then we get busy, distracted, let our negative inner voices (that's stupid, you can't do that, no one cares) win...or we just plain get exhausted by life and lose our gumption.
Say it slowly - "through committed discipline...we remove impurities...and strengthen...our personal...power." I LOVE this.
Tapas translates as "to purify" or "to burn" through heat. Think of a really awesome workout or hike you did, where you pushed yourself and burned through, feeling like a superhero on the other side. Or think of a time you did this at work, through a big, impactful project or during a personal, creative endeavour - burning through with the results beyond what you ever imagined.
Tapas is about the LONG TERM. The short term will almost be guaranteed to be uncomfortable, vulnerable or downright painful. This takes balance - we want a healthy edge to strengthen ourselves and push ourselves outside comfort boundaries, but we don't want to push so far that we fall off the metaphorical (or perhaps literal) cliff and injure ourselves (physically, spiritually, mentally, etc.).
So, how do we begin tapas? Make a goal. This can be physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, mental health or it can be anything. Make the goal. Write it down. Say it out loud. Then, start planning the smaller steps to get there. Steps that may even seem questionable to include. Include them. This is about the focus on one small decision/action at at time.
The example I will give is one my own. During the past month with classes ending, I've started setting aside time each day for self-study, the jnana path (which we'll discuss more next niyama!). I've been reading and reflecting on several books and scriptures each day, writing down what speaks to me, what makes me think and reflect. I sit in the knowledge, meditate on it, and use it as a foundation for daily prayer.
Now, this kind of scripture/text reading is something I've participated in before, in isolated bursts of spiritual good intention, but not usually consistently as a daily practice.
What...a...difference...as a daily...practice. When you make it a discipline. When you make the choice to take a half hour for self-study instead of reality TV or Facebook scrolling. Consider this:
From the Yoga Sutras (2:43) - Kayendriya-siddhir ashuddhi-kshayat tapasah or "Through committed discipline we remove impurities and strengthen our personal power."
Say it slowly - "through committed discipline...we remove impurities...and strengthen...our personal...power." I LOVE this.
Tapas translates as "to purify" or "to burn" through heat. Think of a really awesome workout or hike you did, where you pushed yourself and burned through, feeling like a superhero on the other side. Or think of a time you did this at work, through a big, impactful project or during a personal, creative endeavour - burning through with the results beyond what you ever imagined.
Tapas is about the LONG TERM. The short term will almost be guaranteed to be uncomfortable, vulnerable or downright painful. This takes balance - we want a healthy edge to strengthen ourselves and push ourselves outside comfort boundaries, but we don't want to push so far that we fall off the metaphorical (or perhaps literal) cliff and injure ourselves (physically, spiritually, mentally, etc.).
So, how do we begin tapas? Make a goal. This can be physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, mental health or it can be anything. Make the goal. Write it down. Say it out loud. Then, start planning the smaller steps to get there. Steps that may even seem questionable to include. Include them. This is about the focus on one small decision/action at at time.
The example I will give is one my own. During the past month with classes ending, I've started setting aside time each day for self-study, the jnana path (which we'll discuss more next niyama!). I've been reading and reflecting on several books and scriptures each day, writing down what speaks to me, what makes me think and reflect. I sit in the knowledge, meditate on it, and use it as a foundation for daily prayer.
Now, this kind of scripture/text reading is something I've participated in before, in isolated bursts of spiritual good intention, but not usually consistently as a daily practice.
What...a...difference...as a daily...practice. When you make it a discipline. When you make the choice to take a half hour for self-study instead of reality TV or Facebook scrolling. Consider this:
"Self-respect is the root of discipline. Our sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." - Abraham Joshua Heschel, Jewish Theologian/Philosopher
Whenever I pick up the phone and begin to mindlessly scroll, I can look to this bit of wisdom - it's good sometimes to say no to the short term in order to cultivate long term nourishment. This is a small act of discipline that can make a huge affect in the long run.
I recently read this verse from the Hebrew Bible: "His word burns in my heart like a fire...It's like a fire in my bones." (Jeremiah 20:9) This resonates with me so much right now - this thirst for knowledge and connection, this JOY and gratitude for this practice, I feel it like a fire burning. My love for God and for this spiritual practice is like a fire in my bones. And like Jeremiah goes on to say, I can't shut it out! I don't want to.
Namaste, Amen, and see you in a couple of weeks for our next Niyama!
Monday, May 6, 2019
Niyamas: Santosha (Contentment)
Santosha is about feeling at peace - feeling truly happy in this moment. This is our second Niyama.
I have been in a passionate immersion lately where I am devouring every single spiritual/religious book I can get my hands on - Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Yogic, you name it. This is something I do all the time by the nature of my profession as an academic who teaches religion.
However, this has been different - because it's propelled fully by my heart, not just academic knowledge. I'm fascinated by the similarities of Jesus' teachings and Buddha's, of Biblical texts and Zen teachings. I feel ravenous, thirsty for understanding and knowledge. But, in my heart, I am feeling unusually content - that despite this overwhelming desire to know, know, know through spiritual study, I feel, somehow, surprisingly, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this journey. I certainly don't always feel this way. But, I do right now, so I am reveling in that space, that quiet stillness, that joy and gratitude of contentment.
I attended a Sunday morning Tibetan Buddhist teaching yesterday. The focus was on (as always in Buddhism :), impermanence. "This too shall pass." Most of our sorrow, worry, anxiety are caused by our illusions (maya) in thinking that we can hold onto things - further, our illusion that they are permanent. The truth of reality is: Everything changes. Contentment is not just the realization of this constant flux, but embracing it. The wonderful Tibetan monk, who I just love, described the "demons" we struggle against - demons of ego, illusion, greed, clinging, etc. While these often get turned into manifested beings/evil forces in many religions, I am more drawn to think of them as colorful descriptions of affliction. I also immensely enjoy the way the monk pronounces it: "Daa-mon" like Matt Damon, so much so, that every time he said it, I began silently thinking, "the Matt Damon of ignorance, the Matt Damon of clinging, etc."
Patanjali (author of the Yoga Sutras, the first established canon of Yoga writings) said that if we accept where we are RIGHT NOW, in this moment, and second, understand things WILL CHANGE, then we will find true joy.
One of my favorite authors is Anne Lamott. She says prayers often take three forms: Help, Thanks, and Wow. The thanks is the focus here with santosha. Gratitude. Look around. Be here. Take it in. Breathe in. Breathe out. Say, "Thank you."
I have been in a passionate immersion lately where I am devouring every single spiritual/religious book I can get my hands on - Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Yogic, you name it. This is something I do all the time by the nature of my profession as an academic who teaches religion.
However, this has been different - because it's propelled fully by my heart, not just academic knowledge. I'm fascinated by the similarities of Jesus' teachings and Buddha's, of Biblical texts and Zen teachings. I feel ravenous, thirsty for understanding and knowledge. But, in my heart, I am feeling unusually content - that despite this overwhelming desire to know, know, know through spiritual study, I feel, somehow, surprisingly, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this journey. I certainly don't always feel this way. But, I do right now, so I am reveling in that space, that quiet stillness, that joy and gratitude of contentment.
I attended a Sunday morning Tibetan Buddhist teaching yesterday. The focus was on (as always in Buddhism :), impermanence. "This too shall pass." Most of our sorrow, worry, anxiety are caused by our illusions (maya) in thinking that we can hold onto things - further, our illusion that they are permanent. The truth of reality is: Everything changes. Contentment is not just the realization of this constant flux, but embracing it. The wonderful Tibetan monk, who I just love, described the "demons" we struggle against - demons of ego, illusion, greed, clinging, etc. While these often get turned into manifested beings/evil forces in many religions, I am more drawn to think of them as colorful descriptions of affliction. I also immensely enjoy the way the monk pronounces it: "Daa-mon" like Matt Damon, so much so, that every time he said it, I began silently thinking, "the Matt Damon of ignorance, the Matt Damon of clinging, etc."
Patanjali (author of the Yoga Sutras, the first established canon of Yoga writings) said that if we accept where we are RIGHT NOW, in this moment, and second, understand things WILL CHANGE, then we will find true joy.
One of my favorite authors is Anne Lamott. She says prayers often take three forms: Help, Thanks, and Wow. The thanks is the focus here with santosha. Gratitude. Look around. Be here. Take it in. Breathe in. Breathe out. Say, "Thank you."
Monday, April 29, 2019
Niyamas: Saucha (Purity)
Just a bit of a gap since the last Yama! I was very blessed to discover I was pregnant after the last blog. With three daughters to raise and professional milestones/tenure to attain, the blog slipped through my fingertips in the whirlwind of life. After several pregnancy and infant-hazed months...and then, parenthood...with like...multiple children...I just let it go. And that was okay.
That was a nice run, I thought.
But, there's some magic in the air. I felt inspired to write again. It is never too late to start again. I am as passionate about Yoga, religion, and spirituality as ever and feel like delicious, juicy layers have been unfolding in these years of motherhood I never imagined possible a decade ago.
So, let's leap right in and pick up where we left off: the Niyama of Purity. This is one of the inner observances. Beyond the obvious cleaning up your environment and your physical self - which, let's not underestimate the power of this - it's a focus of inner scrubbing. Simplify. Let go of that which you no longer need or which clutters up your life, physically or emotionally. A key factor to this is becoming aware (practicing discernment) of what may be causing toxicity or negativity in your life.
This takes pause, reflection and a hard look. It's about getting back to the core of who you are. It makes me think of Michaelangelo's philosophy when sculpting - that he was never creating an image, but just releasing the image from the block of stone, scraping away all that "was not the horse" or "was not David" to reveal...well, the horse or David.
Saucha is about revealing our inner David. We do this by starting to scrape away that which covers up who we really are. What a perfect goal as the semester ends and summer's warmth and expansion beckons. As I finish up grading, closing up the books and ending an exceptionally fulfilling term, as professionally (and soulfully, in many cases) as they've been, I'm ready to let go of those specific aspects of obligation and focus now on the core of myself - as a mother, as a Yogi, as a seeker. I'm interested in spiritual nourishment. I'm ready to let go of that which doesn't make my soul sing or my heart full. I'm ready for some Svadhyaya (self-study) and to be a fully present, hands free Mama to my girls. I send a prayer up that it will be a glorious summer.
Next up: Santosha (Contentment).
Namaste beautiful people!
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