And it all culminates in complete and total surrender. Easy enough! Ha!
samadhi-siddhir ishvara pranidhanat - "Though faith and trustful surrender to the divine mystery we find joy."
This is about REALLY letting go of illusions of control, of destructive patterns and/or thinking, selfishness, and shifting our focus and priorities from obsessions and desires to serving others. This is about realizing we are all in this together and we are NOT in control of much at all.
With this final niyama, our daily challenge is to trade our illusion of control for Faith. Capital "F." Complete and total faith. An Ultimate Surrender. Ultimate Belief. I am reading a book currently called Fear and Faith and in it, the author describes fear as unbelief. Wow. This makes me look at my fears and worries in such a different way. One of my favorite parts of the Bible I've read is, "Lord, help my unbelief." Or, Lord, help unload my fears.
This niyama couldn't be more at a more perfect timing. I've had a particularly rough battle with anxiety lately, have been obsessing, frankly, about various fears, which mostly spiral around "'what if's" about my children's health and mine. The invincibility of my youth is fading and now, I worry about a million things I can't control. I sometimes spiral myself into stomach clenching anxiety over these scenarios in my head. This is the opposite of surrender. This is clinging, attachment and feeding my worst turnings of the mind.
We must feed our mind and soul the way we do our bodies. And they must be fed constantly, every day, multiple times a day. This is something I'm realizing - peace is not one and done. It's a constant practice. It takes daily diligence. Do I want to continue to feed my mind worry, worst case scenarios and what if's? Absolutely not. This is a TERRIBLE diet. Or should I feed myself each time with "Yes, I can" and "my girls and I healthy" and "we are safe" and "I have faith" and "God is good!" and "I am strong" and "I will thrive" and various other healthy fillings? Yes, please.
What we practice, we get very good at. What we feed ourselves matters.
I am a perfectionist. And I am very good at worrying. I don't want to be good at this anymore. I'm ready to practice surrender to God. To practice each and every day. I'm ready to practice Ishvara Pranidhana with eyes and heart fixed. I want to learn to be very good at THIS.
What a wonderful and ultimate Niyama to end this series with. Next topic - Joy.
Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden - I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28
You shall increase my greatness and comfort me on every side. - Psalm 71:21
I will comfort you...as a mother comforts her child. - Isaiah 66:13
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